My House Is Clean & In Order Again!

We had a really bad week this week. Parents and family members seemed to have taken bitch/bastard pills, everyone had issues with someone. I was ready to kill anyone who looked at me sideways. The kids were so sick of looking at each other that I had to keep them separated or else mop up all the blood and snot. I was sure I had a few more years to go before they started beating the crap out of each other.... but I digress.

Snot #1 decided to steal a box filled with all my craft knives, stencil knives, fabric markers and expensive pens. I normally keep a close guard on this box, yet he managed to grab it without me noticing. WHEN I realised it was missing, I looked in all the lockable places I normally stash it to no avail. Snot #1 denied any and all knowledge of having seen or touched the box. It wasn't until I started tearing his toy area apart that he walked up to me with it in his hands.

I checked the Snot's bedroom and found shit had been sliced all over the place including sheets and mattresses. So on Friday night at 6:30pm this house went into lock down. All toys were locked away. All sharp objects were locked up. All my work/craft stuff was locked up. Then we started re-arranging the house. We have worked on it all weekend. We have tossed stuff out, culled toys, made repairs, moved the kids into the sunroom which used to be storage/office/ computer room/Snot #1's Toy Area and moved all our stuff into their old room. BIG SIZE DIFFERENCE PEOPLE!

We are cramped and it's untidy in here but I will be working on it all this week :) So..... seeing as Soggy worked so hard this weekend..... I thought I would show you the fruits of our labour. This is also PROOF that MY HOUSE WAS CLEAN! CLEAN! CLEAN! As I have no doubt that it WILL NOT STAY THIS WAY and I may need proof to look at to assure myself it was not all in my head! So without further ado...... start scrolling :)

The Snot's new bedroom. All that is left in here that is not theirs is some very FIRMLY taped up storage boxes.

Snot #1 fast asleep in his bed. No..... he does not have a thing for Tigger or Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends...... really ....... honest.

Snot #2 fast asleep in his bed. The wooden wardrobe is the "Temporary Toy Lockup" which will be in use until their behaviour improves and they earn some toys back. It also provides a separation between them which seems to be working! No..... he does not have a thing for Eeyore (you can't see the one in his arms, or it's ear that he is chewing on while he sleeps)..... he also does not have a thing for Thomas The Tank Engine and Friends...... would I lie to you?

This is all the toys I have allowed them to keep out. You can't see the truck each that they have as they are in their "garages"....... also known as "under the bed parking".

My dining room...... is CLEAN. No food, no plates, no shoes, clothes, schoolbags, lunchboxes, dirty work boots or PEOPLE...... cause they are all ASLEEP! Which is just how I like them cause they don't mess up my house when they are asleep :)

We sorted through all the crap we had piled up here (and I know it won't look it to you, but we got rid of a hell of a lot of it!)..... where we assumed it was SAFE. My children have learnt how to use chairs and climb. I never noticed that we have them arranged so they look like stairs...... until I caught Snot #1 on top of the fridge. There is now nothing breakable or dangerous up there and everything is sealed with packing tape. He ain't getting into them unless he gnaws through the tape with his teeth!

My kitchen. CLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN. Sigh, swoon, grin.

My lounge. (Can you see where they have chewed the material off the arms of the chair? Bloody animals. I gave birth to beavers..... I swear I did). Remind me to take pictures of the gnaw marks in their cots and their beds!!!!! I had to borrow a Dyson vacuum from Soggy's parents as our vacuum D.I.E.D! Dear Santa, I need a Dyson for Christmas cause they suck soooooo good :)

Soggy did all this washing for me and hung it all out so it can dry tomorrow. It's so nice to be loved. Or so I hear :)

The kids even cleaned up all their outside toys (just don't open the cubby house door or you will cause an avalanche) and Soggy mowed the lawns.... all before I even got up this morning. (Note to self...... shagging husband until 3am will result in not even hearing 2 screaming brats and a lawnmower)

No toys....... niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. I am impressed.

The chair was tired apparently, so it laid down for a nap. I consider myself lucky that the chair is the ONLY THING OUT OF PLACE and will not complain.... at all.

The orifice... sorry office. This is my work/craft area and all my rolls of felt! Excuse the mess. I will get it tidied this week :) Snot #1 goes back to school in a few hours. Wooooooooohoooooooo!

Soggy's porn surfing/swear at stupid computer games area. I will also clean this area up this week. Soggy will hate me as he won't be able to FIND anything :) Which is how I want it. If he can't find it, he can't mess it up! (See...... I have an evil and dastardly plan at all times)

My porn surfing/stalk other bloggers/waste hours talking on the Internet area. It's already CLEAN..... so there!

All the stuff we had to put away. Put away as neatly as I could manage. All our books had to be packed away though. I just left out cookbooks and stuff we use all the time. And all the videos I still have to burn onto DVD before they snap or stretch anymore than they already are.

The new lockable door handle so the kids CANNOT get in here. They have to get the key from around my neck first! Bwah hahahahahahaha

My nice clean bedroom (except for the broken TV on the floor which has a date with the rubbish tip this weekend).

Shhhhhhhhhhh Soggy is all worn out and fast asleep. Do you like the "No Standing" sign above the bed? We do! See the pile of pillows on top of the Strider in the corner...... they were mentioned in an earlier post....... I am off to go snuggle into them all right now. I hope you enjoyed the tour :)

Love Von xoxoxoxoxoxoxo