You know when you were at school and you needed a pass out for having the day off or leaving early? If you do not remember these, you are too old and should leave right now before I say something that will cause your pacemaker to run off fucking screaming!
Before I forget...... I'd like to welcome Fuffell and Zoe to my blog. These are the ONLY family members I will ever trust with the link to get here. They have the two cutest girls on the planet and there is a distinct possibility that they may be almost as fucked up, warped and twisted as I am. I mean that in the most loving of ways guys :):):) Please make sure you guys register so you can leave me messages here and I can reply!
Okay back to the post Von.... concentrate woman!
I am so tired and worn out. I need a long soak in the bath, a day in bed doing every wicked, nasty and dirty thing I can imagine. 2 days in bed sleeping off the exertion from the orgy the day before. A good quiet meal with friends, time away from my children, time away from my husband, ALCOHOL.... CHOCOLATE..... MORE SLEEP AND MORE SEX. In any order.
The chances of this happening are Buckley's and fuck all. However.......
I have managed to get time off from kids and hubby on Sat night! Hubby is going away overnight for a buck's weekend. Kids have been palmed off. I have a date with Catei. She loves me and will take me to dinner somewhere. She will have chocolate for me. I will get drunk...... I will sleep. So I got a few things checked off the list.
Now will someone please write me a pass out from being a MUM for a period of 24 hours? Please? Thank you
(I had other crap I wanted to say but I have to go make a stupid pirate costume for the stupid pirate day at school tomorrow!)
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Part One of the Talcum Powder Serial Killer
I get bored very easily when left to my own devices.
I go do things like this stuff. I am going to claim temporary insanity :)
http://justatouchofsweetness.com/2007/09/24/my-limit/#comments
http://justatouchofsweetness.com/2007/09/23/static/#comments
http://justatouchofsweetness.com/2007/09/23/cant-keep-up/#comments
http://justatouchofsweetness.com/2007/09/23/differences/#comments
http://justatouchofsweetness.com/2007/09/23/out-of-shape/#comments
http://justatouchofsweetness.com/2007/09/23/sick/#comments
I message people like him at work, start a comments war as above and cause him to laugh so much that his co-workers look at him cautiously and wonder if they should seek a mental health expert for him.
I make my kids participate in crazy shit that makes us all giggle. Like this
And because I wasted so much time doing all of those things. I got nothing done today and have no idea what I am going to say when I need to explain myself :)
Excuse me..... I have to go back to the time out corner with Angry :)
I go do things like this stuff. I am going to claim temporary insanity :)
http://justatouchofsweetness.com/2007/09/24/my-limit/#comments
http://justatouchofsweetness.com/2007/09/23/static/#comments
http://justatouchofsweetness.com/2007/09/23/cant-keep-up/#comments
http://justatouchofsweetness.com/2007/09/23/differences/#comments
http://justatouchofsweetness.com/2007/09/23/out-of-shape/#comments
http://justatouchofsweetness.com/2007/09/23/sick/#comments
I message people like him at work, start a comments war as above and cause him to laugh so much that his co-workers look at him cautiously and wonder if they should seek a mental health expert for him.
I make my kids participate in crazy shit that makes us all giggle. Like this
And because I wasted so much time doing all of those things. I got nothing done today and have no idea what I am going to say when I need to explain myself :)
Excuse me..... I have to go back to the time out corner with Angry :)
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Conversations You Should Have When The Kids Pull An All Nighter
· Actually to tell the truth my motherboard overheated and went to molest yours again
· Tie him up when he's asleep or handcuff him and tell him unless he eats you, he doesn’t get free.... and leave him there!
· It must be you breathing on my neck.... cause it's normally me surrounded by bastards
· Yeah so I can seduce her too
· Now I just have to get past the talking and up to the actual getting laid part and all will be well in my warped world
· Me too... I need it so bad
· Well I hate to say it, but I've had it a few nights this last week ...
· At least one of us is getting some
· I've forgotten what it looks like and need pointers
· I need a pointer too... a really hard pointer
· A really long fat hard pointer
· ****Sigh**** I remember those days..... Before we had kids
· I'm going to become a whore when I get single... look out penises
· I'm going to go now... you two lovely young sexy things try to keep each other satisfied without me...
· Love you both and take good care of your pussies.... god knows no one else is....
· Yeah....I marry the sex machine from hell and now I'm on a drought... go figure. Maybe he needs a new battery?
· Lol, but at least he does have spells of being horny
· Yeah and it only makes it worse
· Beat him into submission at least?
· I could do cartwheels buck naked and he wouldn’t notice
· Yet I used to only have to look sideways at him and he was tearing my clothes off literally and shagging me senseless for hours on end
· I've never had that.... and I want it
· I'm not sure what would be worse.... wishing for something you have never had and can only imagine. Or wanting something you have known and never get anymore
· I think it worse wanting something you once had because you know how good it was
· Actually.... I shagged the mailman... but don’t tell anyone....
· Fucking men..... Can’t we just beat them into submission?
· Between him and his father.... it’s a race who I kill first
· I get near @#$%^ and wanna kill him
· I get near *&^%$# and have to restrain myself from grovelling for permission to molest his body
· Ok.... we trashed our husbands, swapped pictures, trashed our kids.... what's next????
· If my ass is so smart why has it lost it's “getting laid” powers? HUH?
· I need to take care of my itch or I'll be one mean bitch on vacation lol
· 2:30am and both kids are still awake. I am clean at least. I am going to drag out a mallet and knock them both into next year if they don’t go to sleep soon though!
· I am going to go do the dishes, cause if I don’t keep moving I will pass out somewhere and wake up in a puddle of drool cause I am so damn tired
· 3am, dishes are washed, kids are still awake. Watching a DVD cause I have no other ideas for keeping them quiet so they don’t wake *&^%$# cause he's working today. God help these kids if they don’t sleep today sometime!!!!
· Fucking 3:30am and my kids look like they have snorted lines of speed!!!!
· Where's the eyes hanging out of head, bags under eyes, bloodshot eyes, hair everywhere, stressed the fuck out mother emoticon?
· The mallet is looking more appealing by the minute
· No, I don't... that's part of the problem... I want to and can't
· Well I'm available!!!!!!
· And on the other side of the world lmao
· Your point is what exactly? Am I not good enough for you to travel that far or something? HUH? HUH?
· 4am and all is not fucking well.......
· They're still up?
· Yes
· Tie him up when he's asleep or handcuff him and tell him unless he eats you, he doesn’t get free.... and leave him there!
· It must be you breathing on my neck.... cause it's normally me surrounded by bastards
· Yeah so I can seduce her too
· Now I just have to get past the talking and up to the actual getting laid part and all will be well in my warped world
· Me too... I need it so bad
· Well I hate to say it, but I've had it a few nights this last week ...
· At least one of us is getting some
· I've forgotten what it looks like and need pointers
· I need a pointer too... a really hard pointer
· A really long fat hard pointer
· ****Sigh**** I remember those days..... Before we had kids
· I'm going to become a whore when I get single... look out penises
· I'm going to go now... you two lovely young sexy things try to keep each other satisfied without me...
· Love you both and take good care of your pussies.... god knows no one else is....
· Yeah....I marry the sex machine from hell and now I'm on a drought... go figure. Maybe he needs a new battery?
· Lol, but at least he does have spells of being horny
· Yeah and it only makes it worse
· Beat him into submission at least?
· I could do cartwheels buck naked and he wouldn’t notice
· Yet I used to only have to look sideways at him and he was tearing my clothes off literally and shagging me senseless for hours on end
· I've never had that.... and I want it
· I'm not sure what would be worse.... wishing for something you have never had and can only imagine. Or wanting something you have known and never get anymore
· I think it worse wanting something you once had because you know how good it was
· Actually.... I shagged the mailman... but don’t tell anyone....
· Fucking men..... Can’t we just beat them into submission?
· Between him and his father.... it’s a race who I kill first
· I get near @#$%^ and wanna kill him
· I get near *&^%$# and have to restrain myself from grovelling for permission to molest his body
· Ok.... we trashed our husbands, swapped pictures, trashed our kids.... what's next????
· If my ass is so smart why has it lost it's “getting laid” powers? HUH?
· I need to take care of my itch or I'll be one mean bitch on vacation lol
· 2:30am and both kids are still awake. I am clean at least. I am going to drag out a mallet and knock them both into next year if they don’t go to sleep soon though!
· I am going to go do the dishes, cause if I don’t keep moving I will pass out somewhere and wake up in a puddle of drool cause I am so damn tired
· 3am, dishes are washed, kids are still awake. Watching a DVD cause I have no other ideas for keeping them quiet so they don’t wake *&^%$# cause he's working today. God help these kids if they don’t sleep today sometime!!!!
· Fucking 3:30am and my kids look like they have snorted lines of speed!!!!
· Where's the eyes hanging out of head, bags under eyes, bloodshot eyes, hair everywhere, stressed the fuck out mother emoticon?
· The mallet is looking more appealing by the minute
· No, I don't... that's part of the problem... I want to and can't
· Well I'm available!!!!!!
· And on the other side of the world lmao
· Your point is what exactly? Am I not good enough for you to travel that far or something? HUH? HUH?
· 4am and all is not fucking well.......
· They're still up?
· Yes
I Have A Sleepover
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I have a Sleepover, which in case you are confused, is kind of like a Hangover. The differences are listed below in point form for explanatory purposes :-
Hangover
* Little or no food eaten.
* Copious amounts of alcohol are consumed.
* Articles of clothing may vanish without a trace and you cannot figure out how.
* Vomiting of some kind is normally involved.
* People may attack you and do all sorts of piss funny stuff if you are dumb enough to be the first one to pass out!!!
* You may have sex with someone who is uglier than a pit bull while sober yet looks like a movie star at the time. Hopefully you will regain consciousness and get the hell out of there before he/she wakes up.
* Even more hopefully, none of your mates will witness your "dash of shame".
* You will probably consume some sort of food that even the hungriest dog would shy away from. You will pay DEARLY for this at a later point in time.
* You wake up feeling like some little brat is spinning the world at 100,000x normal speed.
* You seem to have been eating carpet while sleeping because you have fuzz in your mouth that may require rubber gloves and a scrubbing brush to remove.
* There is probably vomit in places that make you stand there and go "How The Fuck?" ....... (trust me! I once woke up with vomit on my ceiling) you will probably also closely study the vomit and think "What The Fuck... I don't remember EATING THAT!
* You will have little to no memory of the nights events. A fact anyone who was with you and less drunk will use against you if they are smart enough!
Sleepover
* You are dumb enough at some point in time to think having kids is a great idea.
* You have that thought again and have another one.
* You have a partner who works FUCKING LONG HOURS and you are the stay home parent. (Refrain from killing yourself now, people tell me it gets better, I think they lie, but here's hoping)
* You get kids fed, bathed and into bed with fairly little fuss (this should be the first warning bell.... no fussing = all hell breaking loose later).
* You get the partner who is comatose on the couch into bed, even though they vehemently protest that they WERE actually WATCHING the TV. (through closed eyelids and snores no less!)
* You sit quietly chatting to friends online... waiting for a reasonable amount of time to pass. This is also known as "Thank Fuck Time". You pray no one wakes up and you can just stay wherever you have parked your arse for a while.
* You then go into "Yo-Yo" mode. Where the kids take turns waking up demanding a drink, a hug, a kiss, a story or whatever else will keep them out of bed for 5 more seconds.
* The partner will toss and turn and demand a head-job, a hand-job, sex of some description. Whatever it is will make you glare at them and think VERY NASTY THINGS, or just start screaming in their sleep and waking the rest of the house up.
* You have eyes that are bloodshot and feel like a desert is in them, and you dream up long, involved and intricately complicated ways to kill them all.
* You do this all god damn fucking night...... and when the sun rises YOU ARE STILL AT IT.
* The friends you were chatting with are killing themselves laughing at the comments you are making and at the slow deterioration of your verbal, spelling and typing skills.
* At some ungodly hour you FINALLY get to pass out and go to sleep
* 4 or 5 hours later the little fuckers wake you up demanding to be fed, played with, entertained etc etc
* The whole damn process begins again.
So sleepover is like a hangover, but honestly..... I think I would prefer the hangover :)
I have a Sleepover, which in case you are confused, is kind of like a Hangover. The differences are listed below in point form for explanatory purposes :-
Hangover
* Little or no food eaten.
* Copious amounts of alcohol are consumed.
* Articles of clothing may vanish without a trace and you cannot figure out how.
* Vomiting of some kind is normally involved.
* People may attack you and do all sorts of piss funny stuff if you are dumb enough to be the first one to pass out!!!
* You may have sex with someone who is uglier than a pit bull while sober yet looks like a movie star at the time. Hopefully you will regain consciousness and get the hell out of there before he/she wakes up.
* Even more hopefully, none of your mates will witness your "dash of shame".
* You will probably consume some sort of food that even the hungriest dog would shy away from. You will pay DEARLY for this at a later point in time.
* You wake up feeling like some little brat is spinning the world at 100,000x normal speed.
* You seem to have been eating carpet while sleeping because you have fuzz in your mouth that may require rubber gloves and a scrubbing brush to remove.
* There is probably vomit in places that make you stand there and go "How The Fuck?" ....... (trust me! I once woke up with vomit on my ceiling) you will probably also closely study the vomit and think "What The Fuck... I don't remember EATING THAT!
* You will have little to no memory of the nights events. A fact anyone who was with you and less drunk will use against you if they are smart enough!
Sleepover
* You are dumb enough at some point in time to think having kids is a great idea.
* You have that thought again and have another one.
* You have a partner who works FUCKING LONG HOURS and you are the stay home parent. (Refrain from killing yourself now, people tell me it gets better, I think they lie, but here's hoping)
* You get kids fed, bathed and into bed with fairly little fuss (this should be the first warning bell.... no fussing = all hell breaking loose later).
* You get the partner who is comatose on the couch into bed, even though they vehemently protest that they WERE actually WATCHING the TV. (through closed eyelids and snores no less!)
* You sit quietly chatting to friends online... waiting for a reasonable amount of time to pass. This is also known as "Thank Fuck Time". You pray no one wakes up and you can just stay wherever you have parked your arse for a while.
* You then go into "Yo-Yo" mode. Where the kids take turns waking up demanding a drink, a hug, a kiss, a story or whatever else will keep them out of bed for 5 more seconds.
* The partner will toss and turn and demand a head-job, a hand-job, sex of some description. Whatever it is will make you glare at them and think VERY NASTY THINGS, or just start screaming in their sleep and waking the rest of the house up.
* You have eyes that are bloodshot and feel like a desert is in them, and you dream up long, involved and intricately complicated ways to kill them all.
* You do this all god damn fucking night...... and when the sun rises YOU ARE STILL AT IT.
* The friends you were chatting with are killing themselves laughing at the comments you are making and at the slow deterioration of your verbal, spelling and typing skills.
* At some ungodly hour you FINALLY get to pass out and go to sleep
* 4 or 5 hours later the little fuckers wake you up demanding to be fed, played with, entertained etc etc
* The whole damn process begins again.
So sleepover is like a hangover, but honestly..... I think I would prefer the hangover :)
Thursday, September 13, 2007
8 Questions You Shouldn't Ask Me (Pilfered From Jess)
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Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Dear Migraine
Dear Migraine
I am offering you a once in a lifetime deal..... so pay attention asshole.
You have two choices:-
Choice One is I will buy you a ticket to another head anywhere on the planet you wish, as long as you have your shit packed and leave within a millisecond of reading this letter.
Choice Two is I will declare war on you. I will bomb you with kick arse painkillers, which will be followed by kick arse "no vomit" tablets. You and I both know that the price of me taking the kick arse pain tablets is that I chuck my hole up for the next 8 or more hours.
I feel you use this fact to an unfair advantage, you know I will resist taking any tablets in the hope that my docility will encourage you to have a drink or two at the bar and then fuck off. Due to you playing unfairly and also running up a huge bar tab.... (who the fuck gave you permission to get a bar tab?) I have no wish to parley with you, I will also NOT be accepting an unconditional surrender from you this time.
If you continue to plague me I will be finding the fancy corkscrew thingy we never use and I will be plunging it into my skull, digging around until I locate your current position somewhere behind my left and right eyebrows (how fucking big an arse do you have to cover thet much skull huh?), and removing you post haste.
I will then feed you to my children. It has come to my attention that if they can eat dirt, sand, various leaves and sticks, assorted pet foods when dickheads leave pet food bowls within reach, and about a kilo of snot per day..... their bodies are obviously well capable of handling eating you.... and suffering no ill effects.
You Mr Asshole Migraine Of The Century are no longer welcome in my skull cavity. I hereby remove the V.I.M access I granted you, and you will promptly return The Key To My Brain. You have 30 days to pay the bar tab or I will sic my children onto you. And we both know how they make you quiver, shit yourself and hide under a big rock.
I wish I could say that the time we have spent together has been pleasant, but it has obviously been horrible.
Your millisecond starts ....... now!
That is all.
I am offering you a once in a lifetime deal..... so pay attention asshole.
You have two choices:-
Choice One is I will buy you a ticket to another head anywhere on the planet you wish, as long as you have your shit packed and leave within a millisecond of reading this letter.
Choice Two is I will declare war on you. I will bomb you with kick arse painkillers, which will be followed by kick arse "no vomit" tablets. You and I both know that the price of me taking the kick arse pain tablets is that I chuck my hole up for the next 8 or more hours.
I feel you use this fact to an unfair advantage, you know I will resist taking any tablets in the hope that my docility will encourage you to have a drink or two at the bar and then fuck off. Due to you playing unfairly and also running up a huge bar tab.... (who the fuck gave you permission to get a bar tab?) I have no wish to parley with you, I will also NOT be accepting an unconditional surrender from you this time.
If you continue to plague me I will be finding the fancy corkscrew thingy we never use and I will be plunging it into my skull, digging around until I locate your current position somewhere behind my left and right eyebrows (how fucking big an arse do you have to cover thet much skull huh?), and removing you post haste.
I will then feed you to my children. It has come to my attention that if they can eat dirt, sand, various leaves and sticks, assorted pet foods when dickheads leave pet food bowls within reach, and about a kilo of snot per day..... their bodies are obviously well capable of handling eating you.... and suffering no ill effects.
You Mr Asshole Migraine Of The Century are no longer welcome in my skull cavity. I hereby remove the V.I.M access I granted you, and you will promptly return The Key To My Brain. You have 30 days to pay the bar tab or I will sic my children onto you. And we both know how they make you quiver, shit yourself and hide under a big rock.
I wish I could say that the time we have spent together has been pleasant, but it has obviously been horrible.
Your millisecond starts ....... now!
That is all.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Nights Of Hilarity Part Three
They just keep getting dirtier and funnier. The more bits I delete out the funnier they get!
-Take off your hat, and everything else and jump into bed with XXXX and I...
-gets naked and dives into bed
-shoves across to make room in the bed for YYYY
-how are you and those luscious boobs of yours doing?
-not typing with your toes by any chance are we YYYY....?
-tit typing?
-hey now, my boobs type great
-well actually your right one does...
-does that make you 'right titted'...?
-i am ambi-titted
-ahhh that felt good
-ya'll are frisky in the morning eh?
-ah look what I found!
-i am frisky no matter what time it is
-oooh movement catches my attention every time...
-OMG now that's movement....
-just look down
-when it comes to sex i'm always up too...
-and i think i might be getting UP now thank you...
-sits on XXXX up bits to make him stay in bed
-and ALL i brought with me is my rod....
-and what a nice rod it is
-may I hold it? You must be getting a tired hand by now
-I think YYYY may have nodded off again, nudge her awake with your rod
-awwww and I was just about to lick you..... go back to sleep!
-bend for a friend love lol
-oh, i figured you had slick fingers again
-i'm lovin this, surrounded by 4 horny young ladies...
-it's a pleasure to be in a pile up with you. If you notice any wandering hands.... I SWEAR ... they belong to XXXX
-well i can feel hands on the rod, and i know they're not mine...
-where are your hands?
-ummmm why?
-you sound very guilty
-I swear I thought I was holding the bedpost
-**jumps up and makes her strap on bounce** like my penis too ???
-then kiss it for me
-hey who got the camera under my sheets...
-oh shit it falls off if you play with it to much ?
-fuck anything that moves and if it does not move i push it
-don't worry, I'll happily NAIL it back for you...
-i'm moving, i'm moving...
-gag them and tie them up then
-why is it always hot women and butt ugly men?
-because we butt ugly men can't help ourselves...
-my saucy little sexpot, I would be honoured
-my whore ass has been replaced
-i'm taking over
-hands XXXX her whip and snuggles with YYYY to watch the fun
-hey thats my fucking whip
-open legs... better
-Zeus... God Of The Rod
-we can have a sexography
-I should stop stroking him then shouldn’t I?
-WHAT? A girl can stroke a man’s leg or back or bum can’t she? I never said where
I was stroking. U have a dirty mind
-you still need to look own to play with it ?
-I suck
-no... i like watching you playing with it...
-just close your eyes and let me stroke you. Theres no need to watch. I know what I'm doing
-tell him u were up gangbanging all night and he wont notice what you look like at ALL
-kinda made the poor guy bleed
-my crop is all covered in his blood
-why am I stroking the bedpost? anyone got something else I can play with?
-you do... where... what... can I have it... can I keep it.... ooooooooooooooo
-mmmm I got XXXX all to myself, and things from YYYY to play with, ZZZZ rod and a bedpost..... SIGH.... I am a happy girl
-thats' alright though....keep it up...I won't be sending you the bra that I found for you for your birthday
-i dont need a bra my knee caps are nice and warm today
-makes my nipples hard
-is to excited stroking everyone
-cant type with her hands full lol
-brb i have gone numb from my arse to my knees.
I'm waaaaaaay too busy laughing my arse off to comment at all xoxoxoxoxox
-Take off your hat, and everything else and jump into bed with XXXX and I...
-gets naked and dives into bed
-shoves across to make room in the bed for YYYY
-how are you and those luscious boobs of yours doing?
-not typing with your toes by any chance are we YYYY....?
-tit typing?
-hey now, my boobs type great
-well actually your right one does...
-does that make you 'right titted'...?
-i am ambi-titted
-ahhh that felt good
-ya'll are frisky in the morning eh?
-ah look what I found!
-i am frisky no matter what time it is
-oooh movement catches my attention every time...
-OMG now that's movement....
-just look down
-when it comes to sex i'm always up too...
-and i think i might be getting UP now thank you...
-sits on XXXX up bits to make him stay in bed
-and ALL i brought with me is my rod....
-and what a nice rod it is
-may I hold it? You must be getting a tired hand by now
-I think YYYY may have nodded off again, nudge her awake with your rod
-awwww and I was just about to lick you..... go back to sleep!
-bend for a friend love lol
-oh, i figured you had slick fingers again
-i'm lovin this, surrounded by 4 horny young ladies...
-it's a pleasure to be in a pile up with you. If you notice any wandering hands.... I SWEAR ... they belong to XXXX
-well i can feel hands on the rod, and i know they're not mine...
-where are your hands?
-ummmm why?
-you sound very guilty
-I swear I thought I was holding the bedpost
-**jumps up and makes her strap on bounce** like my penis too ???
-then kiss it for me
-hey who got the camera under my sheets...
-oh shit it falls off if you play with it to much ?
-fuck anything that moves and if it does not move i push it
-don't worry, I'll happily NAIL it back for you...
-i'm moving, i'm moving...
-gag them and tie them up then
-why is it always hot women and butt ugly men?
-because we butt ugly men can't help ourselves...
-my saucy little sexpot, I would be honoured
-my whore ass has been replaced
-i'm taking over
-hands XXXX her whip and snuggles with YYYY to watch the fun
-hey thats my fucking whip
-open legs... better
-Zeus... God Of The Rod
-we can have a sexography
-I should stop stroking him then shouldn’t I?
-WHAT? A girl can stroke a man’s leg or back or bum can’t she? I never said where
I was stroking. U have a dirty mind
-you still need to look own to play with it ?
-I suck
-no... i like watching you playing with it...
-just close your eyes and let me stroke you. Theres no need to watch. I know what I'm doing
-tell him u were up gangbanging all night and he wont notice what you look like at ALL
-kinda made the poor guy bleed
-my crop is all covered in his blood
-why am I stroking the bedpost? anyone got something else I can play with?
-you do... where... what... can I have it... can I keep it.... ooooooooooooooo
-mmmm I got XXXX all to myself, and things from YYYY to play with, ZZZZ rod and a bedpost..... SIGH.... I am a happy girl
-thats' alright though....keep it up...I won't be sending you the bra that I found for you for your birthday
-i dont need a bra my knee caps are nice and warm today
-makes my nipples hard
-is to excited stroking everyone
-cant type with her hands full lol
-brb i have gone numb from my arse to my knees.
I'm waaaaaaay too busy laughing my arse off to comment at all xoxoxoxoxox
Nights Of Hilarity Part Two
-no no faster faster
-doing it now
-speak to me in the language of fantastic tits
-getting more crowded by the min
-something's poking me in my side
-oh yeah
-fantastic, everyones naked and sweaty
-brb smoke
-ha ha ha.... just gets in a room with 3 women and he can't handle it
-how did i leave half of his name off?
-too busy gobbling his rod to pay attention to the typing perhaps or are you tit typing again?
-must be the first one 'cause my tit typing really sucks
-yeah but u r fucked in the head like me and no one else fucking understands either of us
-well at least some part of me is getting fucked hahahaha
-ewwwwwwwww I know where her tongues been
-wasnt she licking your shoes last night?
-touch wood
-If it pleaseses you
-u can lick him all u like
-keep talkn like that n u mite get laid hehe
-oh I wish I could
-you can pull it off?
-hang on... who's pulling what off?
-but only with your help
-plenty for you too
-has a removable penis.... rrrooowwwrrr
-and it's HUGE
-tuck slurp nibble hehehehe
-so, go back and tell me everything that's happened since i left...
-XXXX got too excited over being here with 3 women and couldn't take it, so he went to bed. YYYY licked ZZZZ. that's about it.
-we all got kicked off
-well i'll be glad to "handle" you three girls... and besides, i'm already in bed...
-here, there's a place right next to me
-all boys in bed, it's just me and my fingers now
-i'm shocked… no wait... excited...
-scoots over and snuggles under XXXX arm. Can't type one handed but together we have 2 good hands for typing and 2 good hands for.........
-doing it now
-speak to me in the language of fantastic tits
-getting more crowded by the min
-something's poking me in my side
-oh yeah
-fantastic, everyones naked and sweaty
-brb smoke
-ha ha ha.... just gets in a room with 3 women and he can't handle it
-how did i leave half of his name off?
-too busy gobbling his rod to pay attention to the typing perhaps or are you tit typing again?
-must be the first one 'cause my tit typing really sucks
-yeah but u r fucked in the head like me and no one else fucking understands either of us
-well at least some part of me is getting fucked hahahaha
-ewwwwwwwww I know where her tongues been
-wasnt she licking your shoes last night?
-touch wood
-If it pleaseses you
-u can lick him all u like
-keep talkn like that n u mite get laid hehe
-oh I wish I could
-you can pull it off?
-hang on... who's pulling what off?
-but only with your help
-plenty for you too
-has a removable penis.... rrrooowwwrrr
-and it's HUGE
-tuck slurp nibble hehehehe
-so, go back and tell me everything that's happened since i left...
-XXXX got too excited over being here with 3 women and couldn't take it, so he went to bed. YYYY licked ZZZZ. that's about it.
-we all got kicked off
-well i'll be glad to "handle" you three girls... and besides, i'm already in bed...
-here, there's a place right next to me
-all boys in bed, it's just me and my fingers now
-i'm shocked… no wait... excited...
-scoots over and snuggles under XXXX arm. Can't type one handed but together we have 2 good hands for typing and 2 good hands for.........
Nights Of Hilarity Part One
These past three nights have clarified a few things for me :-
*One... I can still function on an adult level and converse with other "grown up's".
*Two... I can hold my own in a 5-6 person cyber orgy.
*Three... I have some very dirty minded internet pals.
*Four... I can wake up the next morning with my face and my rib cage aching from all the laughter.
*Five... That Soggy can still embarass the utter crap out of me... and I can restrain the urge to shave his eyebrows off when he's asleep as payback.
*Six... That contrary to what I have always believed... I am NOT abnormal... there are lots of other twisted people like me hanging around.
Below are snippets I have taken from the last three nights. It's would be too big a post to do in one hit, so I'll break it down into the three nights. No names will be put here, as I have not asked permission to post this.... I will be careful what I place here. I hope this makes you giggle or run off with your face all red. My ribs wish your ribs the best of luck!
* I get about 4 or 5 hours a night
* I can't remember when the last time was that I got to go to bed early
* I had forgotten how much fun it could be to play with other like minded adults!
* I'm glad you came back to blogging, I missed getting to read you
* Ohhhh goodness.... I'm gonna need some coffee to keep up with yall
* Pffffffffffffft you dont need coffee, $%&* has that HUGE rod to spank you awake with..... remember?
* I feel a computer humping coming on.... I haven't done that in so long
* Didn't you and my computer do that 2 weeks ago? My computer is such a slut when it comes to you
* You're computer molested my computer!
* So does that mean you're expecting some little palm pilots soon?
* Crap. Like I don't have enough trouble on my hands, now I have to deal with all these tiny unwanted computer chips/palm pilots running around my house?
* As long as you remember to pet our pussies
* Okay, stop making me laugh, I'm in danger of having coffee flavoured boogers
* Pussy petting is another thing I do very well...
* I musn't be too bad at it either.... mine never complains
* Mine doesn't complain either, but my fingers damn sure do
* I'm going to say THAT next time I climax..... boooooyyyyyyyaaaaahhhhhh!!
* I aint cumming until I'm good and ready....
* They call me plumb bob because it hangs low and straight...
* Omg my ribs hurt
* sorry... am I too far up....?
* Yeah..... lower
* Wait right there.....dont move... hold that thought
* And my pipe...?
* Hold that too.... I wouldn't want it to get cold and lonely
* Trust you to eat the good bit
* I couldn't help it... it's where all the juice was cumming from
* I think I'm the first man in history to be eaten by two women and not feel a thing!
* Bad girl.... rollover and play dead while we think up some sort of suitable punishment for defiling $%&* Rod
* I must be really bad if he didn't feel any thing.... I'll use my teeth next time
* I want a sentence tattoo'd right next to my pussy that reads "What are you reading this for? Get busy!"
* Nah " Quit Reading And Eat"... less ink...less pain
* Yeah, beat me some more. I need a good whipping to wake me up
* Do turkeys have penises? I can't bloody believe I actually just asked that
* I bet she has gone to check if turkeys have a peni, a penis or penises
* They must or how do they mate?
* Turkeys have small penises...
* Send your boobs to my email account
* Are we putting together a porn site? if so, I've already got it done, just need the pics
* You go "help" her with the huge rod and I'll stand over here (playing with myself) ummmm taking pictures that are not blurry
* I'm hungry.... I need something to eat
* I can help with that too... eat me....
* Sorry @#$%, you seem to be choking on %$#@ Rod again and I can't quite work out what you are trying to say
* How can you laugh with that thing in your mouth?
* I have a really big mouth
* Maybe you should have thought that sentence through a bit more before hitting send!!!
* Put your tits away and just use your fingers....
* How did you know I was typing with my tits?
* Now that's some talent
* I can type with my rod
* I used my boobs
* The left boob needs more typing lessons
* Well, the right one gets played with more
* Will never believe me that I got you tit typing. We could start a new craze here!
* And then she commanded him to crawl to his room so she could administer a spanking!
* So you've played this game before I see....
* I'm gonna have to toughen up and learn how to spank
* Oooo spank me again master, I'm sorry master, I'll be a good girl master, Let me kiss the royal rod... sorry sceptre to prove my sincerity master
* Yes, go to bed and I'll play with myself for a while. I mean, by myself.
* And spend the rest of the night dreaming of spankings, pussies, tits 'n ' tats (hey that's what I'd call my tattoo shop for women if I had one).... and now I've forgotten where I was up to...
* Go to bed you little freaks!
It's even funnier when you edit out all the boring bits and all the laughter that was going on!!!! More to come when I can breathe again..... Stay tuned!
*One... I can still function on an adult level and converse with other "grown up's".
*Two... I can hold my own in a 5-6 person cyber orgy.
*Three... I have some very dirty minded internet pals.
*Four... I can wake up the next morning with my face and my rib cage aching from all the laughter.
*Five... That Soggy can still embarass the utter crap out of me... and I can restrain the urge to shave his eyebrows off when he's asleep as payback.
*Six... That contrary to what I have always believed... I am NOT abnormal... there are lots of other twisted people like me hanging around.
Below are snippets I have taken from the last three nights. It's would be too big a post to do in one hit, so I'll break it down into the three nights. No names will be put here, as I have not asked permission to post this.... I will be careful what I place here. I hope this makes you giggle or run off with your face all red. My ribs wish your ribs the best of luck!
* I get about 4 or 5 hours a night
* I can't remember when the last time was that I got to go to bed early
* I had forgotten how much fun it could be to play with other like minded adults!
* I'm glad you came back to blogging, I missed getting to read you
* Ohhhh goodness.... I'm gonna need some coffee to keep up with yall
* Pffffffffffffft you dont need coffee, $%&* has that HUGE rod to spank you awake with..... remember?
* I feel a computer humping coming on.... I haven't done that in so long
* Didn't you and my computer do that 2 weeks ago? My computer is such a slut when it comes to you
* You're computer molested my computer!
* So does that mean you're expecting some little palm pilots soon?
* Crap. Like I don't have enough trouble on my hands, now I have to deal with all these tiny unwanted computer chips/palm pilots running around my house?
* As long as you remember to pet our pussies
* Okay, stop making me laugh, I'm in danger of having coffee flavoured boogers
* Pussy petting is another thing I do very well...
* I musn't be too bad at it either.... mine never complains
* Mine doesn't complain either, but my fingers damn sure do
* I'm going to say THAT next time I climax..... boooooyyyyyyyaaaaahhhhhh!!
* I aint cumming until I'm good and ready....
* They call me plumb bob because it hangs low and straight...
* Omg my ribs hurt
* sorry... am I too far up....?
* Yeah..... lower
* Wait right there.....dont move... hold that thought
* And my pipe...?
* Hold that too.... I wouldn't want it to get cold and lonely
* Trust you to eat the good bit
* I couldn't help it... it's where all the juice was cumming from
* I think I'm the first man in history to be eaten by two women and not feel a thing!
* Bad girl.... rollover and play dead while we think up some sort of suitable punishment for defiling $%&* Rod
* I must be really bad if he didn't feel any thing.... I'll use my teeth next time
* I want a sentence tattoo'd right next to my pussy that reads "What are you reading this for? Get busy!"
* Nah " Quit Reading And Eat"... less ink...less pain
* Yeah, beat me some more. I need a good whipping to wake me up
* Do turkeys have penises? I can't bloody believe I actually just asked that
* I bet she has gone to check if turkeys have a peni, a penis or penises
* They must or how do they mate?
* Turkeys have small penises...
* Send your boobs to my email account
* Are we putting together a porn site? if so, I've already got it done, just need the pics
* You go "help" her with the huge rod and I'll stand over here (playing with myself) ummmm taking pictures that are not blurry
* I'm hungry.... I need something to eat
* I can help with that too... eat me....
* Sorry @#$%, you seem to be choking on %$#@ Rod again and I can't quite work out what you are trying to say
* How can you laugh with that thing in your mouth?
* I have a really big mouth
* Maybe you should have thought that sentence through a bit more before hitting send!!!
* Put your tits away and just use your fingers....
* How did you know I was typing with my tits?
* Now that's some talent
* I can type with my rod
* I used my boobs
* The left boob needs more typing lessons
* Well, the right one gets played with more
* Will never believe me that I got you tit typing. We could start a new craze here!
* And then she commanded him to crawl to his room so she could administer a spanking!
* So you've played this game before I see....
* I'm gonna have to toughen up and learn how to spank
* Oooo spank me again master, I'm sorry master, I'll be a good girl master, Let me kiss the royal rod... sorry sceptre to prove my sincerity master
* Yes, go to bed and I'll play with myself for a while. I mean, by myself.
* And spend the rest of the night dreaming of spankings, pussies, tits 'n ' tats (hey that's what I'd call my tattoo shop for women if I had one).... and now I've forgotten where I was up to...
* Go to bed you little freaks!
It's even funnier when you edit out all the boring bits and all the laughter that was going on!!!! More to come when I can breathe again..... Stay tuned!
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