I Have A Sleepover

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I have a Sleepover, which in case you are confused, is kind of like a Hangover. The differences are listed below in point form for explanatory purposes :-

Hangover
* Little or no food eaten.
* Copious amounts of alcohol are consumed.
* Articles of clothing may vanish without a trace and you cannot figure out how.
* Vomiting of some kind is normally involved.
* People may attack you and do all sorts of piss funny stuff if you are dumb enough to be the first one to pass out!!!
* You may have sex with someone who is uglier than a pit bull while sober yet looks like a movie star at the time. Hopefully you will regain consciousness and get the hell out of there before he/she wakes up.
* Even more hopefully, none of your mates will witness your "dash of shame".
* You will probably consume some sort of food that even the hungriest dog would shy away from. You will pay DEARLY for this at a later point in time.
* You wake up feeling like some little brat is spinning the world at 100,000x normal speed.
* You seem to have been eating carpet while sleeping because you have fuzz in your mouth that may require rubber gloves and a scrubbing brush to remove.
* There is probably vomit in places that make you stand there and go "How The Fuck?" ....... (trust me! I once woke up with vomit on my ceiling) you will probably also closely study the vomit and think "What The Fuck... I don't remember EATING THAT!
* You will have little to no memory of the nights events. A fact anyone who was with you and less drunk will use against you if they are smart enough!


Sleepover
* You are dumb enough at some point in time to think having kids is a great idea.
* You have that thought again and have another one.
* You have a partner who works FUCKING LONG HOURS and you are the stay home parent. (Refrain from killing yourself now, people tell me it gets better, I think they lie, but here's hoping)
* You get kids fed, bathed and into bed with fairly little fuss (this should be the first warning bell.... no fussing = all hell breaking loose later).
* You get the partner who is comatose on the couch into bed, even though they vehemently protest that they WERE actually WATCHING the TV. (through closed eyelids and snores no less!)
* You sit quietly chatting to friends online... waiting for a reasonable amount of time to pass. This is also known as "Thank Fuck Time". You pray no one wakes up and you can just stay wherever you have parked your arse for a while.
* You then go into "Yo-Yo" mode. Where the kids take turns waking up demanding a drink, a hug, a kiss, a story or whatever else will keep them out of bed for 5 more seconds.
* The partner will toss and turn and demand a head-job, a hand-job, sex of some description. Whatever it is will make you glare at them and think VERY NASTY THINGS, or just start screaming in their sleep and waking the rest of the house up.
* You have eyes that are bloodshot and feel like a desert is in them, and you dream up long, involved and intricately complicated ways to kill them all.
* You do this all god damn fucking night...... and when the sun rises YOU ARE STILL AT IT.
* The friends you were chatting with are killing themselves laughing at the comments you are making and at the slow deterioration of your verbal, spelling and typing skills.
* At some ungodly hour you FINALLY get to pass out and go to sleep
* 4 or 5 hours later the little fuckers wake you up demanding to be fed, played with, entertained etc etc
* The whole damn process begins again.

So sleepover is like a hangover, but honestly..... I think I would prefer the hangover :)